The Vision by Rick Joyner
Episode 49
Judging the Stumbling Blocks
I was already beginning to remember how I had done this same thing, even though on a smaller scale. I recalled how I had allowed disgruntled former members of a nearby church to spread their poison about that church without stopping them. By allowing them to do this without correcting them, I had, in effect, encouraged them to con-tinue. At the time I had rationalized that this was justified because of the errors of that church. I had even repeated many of their stories, justifying it under the guise of enlisting prayers for them.
Soon a great flood of memories of other such incidents began to arise in my heart. Again, I was starting to be overwhelmed by the evil and darkness of my own soul.
"I, too, have been a stumbling block!" I wailed. I knew that I deserved death and that I deserved the worst kind of hell. I had never seen such ruthlessness and cruelty as I was now seeing in my own heart.
"We actually comforted ourselves by thinking we were doing God a favor when we attacked His children," continued the understanding voice of this man. "It is good for you to see this here, because you can go back. Please warn my disciples of their impending doom if they do not repent.
Many of them are called to be kings here, but if they do not repent they will face the worst judgment of all-the judgment of the stumbling blocks.
"My humbling disease was grace from God. When I stood before the throne, I asked the Lord to send such grace to my disciples. I cannot cross back over to them, but He has allowed me this time with you. Please forgive and release those who have attacked you. They really do not understand that they are doing the work of the Accuser. Thank you for forgiving me, but please also forgive them. It is in your power to retain sins or to cover them with love. I can treat you to love those who are now your enemies."
I was so overwhelmed with my own sin that I could hardly hear this man. He was glorious and pure, and obviously now had powers that were not known on the earth. Yet, he was entreating me with a great humility. I felt such love coming from him that I could not imagine refusing him. But even without the impact of his love, I felt far more guilty than anyone attacking me could possibly be.
"Certainly I must deserve anything they have done to me, and much more," I replied.
"That is true, but it is not the point here," he entreated.
"Everyone on earth is deserving of the second death, but our Savior brought us grace and truth. If we are to do His work, we must do everything in both grace and truth. Truth without grace is what the enemy brings when he comes as an 'angel of light.'
"If I can be delivered from this, maybe I will be able to help them," I replied. "But can't you recognize that I am far worse than they could possibly be?"
"I know that what just passed through your memory was bad," he answered, with profound love and grace. I knew that he had now become as concerned for me and my condition as he had been for his own disciples.
"This really is heaven," I blurted out. "This really is light and truth. How could we who live in such darkness become so proud, thinking we know so much about God?" Impulsively, I yelled in the direction of the throne, "Lord!
Please let me go and carry this light back to earth'"
Immediately the entire host of heaven seemed to stand at attention, and I knew that I was the center of their gaze.
I felt so insignificant before just one of these glorious ones, but when I knew they were all looking at me, fear came like a tidal wave. I felt that there could be no doom like I was about to experience. Surely I was the greatest enemy of the glory and truth that so filled that place.
When I thought about my request to go back, I realized I was too depraved. I could never adequately represent such glory and truth. There was no way that I could, in my corruption, convey the reality of that glorious place and Presence. I felt that even Satan had not fallen as far as I had.
This is hell! I thought. There could be no worse pain than to be as evil as I was and to know that this kind of glory exists.
To be banned from here would be a torture worse than I ever feared. "No wonder the demons are so angry and demented," I said under my breath.
Just when I felt that I was about to be banished to the deepest regions of hell, I simply cried, "JESUS!" Immediately, a deep peace came over me. I knew I had to move on toward the glory again, and somehow I had the confidence to do it.